Self-doubt

I started this blog a few years ago, in 2014, but I stopped for a while, unsurprisingly, because of self-doubt.

You know, those thoughts that hold you back:

“nobody will read this blog”, “what if people will criticize my thoughts”, “what if people don’t find what I write interesting enough”…

You probably have them too. The overarching sentiment is the utter most devastating Fear of Failing.

Lately, I’ve been wanting to start writing again, but the doubts are still there. So it’s been hard. I had some setbacks in the last couple of years. I’ve got big dreams, but for awhile I was too scared to start and go realize them. Rejection after rejection made me paralyzed. Not even trying anymore and that’s when you’ve really failed.

We all know the feeling and it’s scary – that moment when you seem to just give up.

Strengths

Since April 2015, I have been on a journey to find out more about:

  • who I am as a person and
  • what I want out of life (at this moment in time),
  • what I am good at, and also
  • passionate – or at least enthusiastic enough – about to want to do some more of it.

Finding out who you are, what you like and what you’re good and strong at, is key in this journey towards self-actualization. All self-help books proclaim so.

During my “super hero course”, as it was aptly called, I found out (although it didn’t come as a surprise) that one of my strengths is learning*. I really love to learn and as I said it before in one of my blogs from years back: I am a total nerd for knowledge. I like to acquire new information. Just ask Mr. Ecotourist – I have about 20 tabs open each google search. And this love for learning clicks into all my other strengths, like: Input. Communication. Ideation. Strategy.

They are all linked in some way and as a nerd I just love how that works. The synergy of it all!

But I digress…

Inspiring BossBabes & Blogs

In my quest to be more of myself and choose what I want in life – which I highlighted because in the past my choices have been influenced a lot by what others believe I should(n’t) do – something, I guess as a reader, you’re also very familiar with – I’ve been following a lot of online thought leaders.

Women that inspire me, personally, are Marie Forleo, Ashley Umbridge (Middle Finger Project), and Danielle Laporte, who have some very interesting ideas about: creative entrepreneurship, doing what you love, and being a #bossbabe or #girlboss or #unfckwithableboss, whichever of the three you prefer. I personally would like to add #femaleindianajones and #empoweredamazon into the mix.

It was during an episode of Marie TV that I got a message from the universe. Imagine a *light shining from above or lamp above my head* kinda moment and an ahhhh soundbite (heavenly – not creepy).

Seth Godin, fellow ideator, marketer, speaker, writer, entrepreneur (the list is probably too long to write out), was a guest on the show and he had a very interesting explanation on why he blogs every day without fail, even if no one would read his blog.

“If you know that tomorrow you have to say something about something you noticed, about something that might help someone else, about an opinion you have that might stand the test of time, you will form those opinions. You will notice those things. You will invent that idea. And if day after day, week after week, you leave this trail behind of thoughtful examination of your world, you can’t help but get better at whatever it is you seek to do. And if, as a by-product, other people read it and trust you more… That’s the jackpot, right?!”

Why I blog (starting from this moment in time)

As you can imagine from my intro, this way of looking at a blog resonated with me. I might struggle with  self-doubt, fear of failure, sleepless nights about other people’s opinions – like everyone else – but this blog can empower me in doing what I love: learning.  writing. researching. Blogging can help me improve my ideas, find my voice.

My lesson: Don’t wait for the right moment, because if not this moment, then when?!

[Tweet ” “If not this moment… When?!” #FemIndianaJinthemaking”]

So watch me go. On the blog I want to share this journey with you. Starting today.

P.s.: There were a lot of I’s in this post, but I do hope this post will inspire YOU to go for what you want. Please share your journey with me via the hashtag #FemIndianaJinthemaking.

The Mangrove Concept