Before my holiday to Costa Rica, I was rocking some self-help and female badassery – re-reading “You are Badass” by Jen Sincero + another awesome post by miss UNF*CKWTHABLE herself Ash Ambirge from The Middle Finger Project. Reading those got me thinking about how to get off the own hamster wheel and live your life on purpose, so that’s what today’s post is all about.
I’m back! Ready to roll. YASSS. I totally refilled my cup after hiking, hammocks, and a jungle vacation in …. Costa Rica. 4 weeks of nature, nature, nature (and 1 sloth). I needed some adventure in my life – Latin America Edition!!!! The planets aligned and both my boyfriend and I found ourselves with some extra free time, so voilá Costa Riva here we came.
Because sometimes it feels like you live your life on auto-pilot instead of on purpose.
When you live your life by default, you get lost in all the expectations (in my case: mostly my own).
You close your eyes to the possibilities.
Personally, I notice that I start believing that my plans of having my own successful company, writing a book, and travelling a LOT, are impossible and, even worse, IRRESPONSIBLE.
“What if … it goes wrong?” and “Oh, shit… I don’t know HOW?” become your mantra.
Relatable right?! That moment when you unconsciously start to dictate your actions to fit that belief. Your life feels like a constantly rotating hamster wheel, where you’re doing stuff, but it doesn’t feel like you’re doing them or living your life on purpose.
It’s more or less like filling the time with endless doings, shouldings, and ….
It doesn’t particularly fill you with joy to be this “ON” ALL the FREAKIN’ TIME, does it? Consumed by to do lists, the constant stream of e-mails, the apps on your phone that keep notifying, all the social media messages… A never-ending stream of messages that could dictate your life if you let them.
Get offf the hamster wheel and purposefully take some time for yourself!
You need there to be time for you. Time to focus on all the things you want to do that fill you up with light and energy. Unapologetically. Without knowing the outcome.
So, I want you to constantly ask yourself (make it your mantra):
“Why the f*ck NOT?”
Because… why the f*ck not? What is holding you back?
When you were younger, you never stopped to ask yourself: “What if..?”
You saw something you wanted and started trying to make it happen. It might not always have worked out ( a lot of things don’t but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t at least try. At least then you’ll gain the experience, maybe even some of the best moments in your life, even if your experiment didn’t succeed or turn out the way you thought it would.
For me, it’s how I found myself in Spain on my own when I was 16, in Guatemala at 19, AND living in the freakin’ Amazon to do research for my dissertation. I wouldn’t trade those experience for anything even though I’m not living the PhD life in Latin America like I thought I would.
Don’t ask: if this is allowed, or
responsible, or if you are capable?
For me, I just knew it was something I needed to try and do. But, over time, somehow this belief in limits creeps in. So, you take that responsible office job that doesn’t really light you up, … And then another. And another.
Before you know it you are hamster wheeling (it sounds really cool… like a new sport or something … but it’s sooo draining!). Without realising it you became stuck in auto-pilot. Believing that this is all you can get out of life and if you’re happy with what you doing, if it energizes you, that’s fine. We don’t all have to become millionaires living our “biggest dreams and bestest lives”.
But if it doesn’t, energize you that is, if you aren’t living your life on purpose, and just stuck in that job you don’t really like because you haven’t really taken the time to figure out what does feel good to you then maybe now is a good time to do something about it.
Yes. There is a solution. And it sounds so simple: Decide you want more and get off the f*cking hamster wheel! Tadaaaa!!
Sorry – It’s not easy. What’s easier is getting used to the comfortable monotonous zooming of the hamster wheel, in the short term. It’s harder and way more courageous * but scary * to decide to get off and turn your back on this kind of limited thinking.
For me, this meant taking some time off. Slowly, I’m getting back to doing things on purpose and going for what I want. So, I’m focussing on my website and my love for writing. But I realize, time off is just as important.
Time off from all the “having to” is GOOD.
So I went to Costa Rica for a month. I’ve been dreaming about going back to big travels since 2013/14. But I didn’t believe it was possible, or maybe I’m being too hard on myself and it’s more a case of doing what I had to do to get some financial stability.
Now, being offered the time. I decided to leave the daily grind for a little bit for some R and R, because I want to live my life on PURPOSE, NOT by default, and certainly NOT on auto-pilot.
When are you getting of the hamster wheel?