I’m doing a mindset reset at the moment. I’m looking back at 2018, identifying the lessons, feeling a lot of gratefulness, and getting ready to continue into 2019 with the clear intention of bringing some change into my life. Part of the process is setting myself up for greatness – a.k.a getting out of my own damn way! – and as I’m moving through my limiting beliefs, it hits me: I’ve been holding myself back. It’s really an “Oops. I did it again moment” for me – tacky red latex bodysuit INCLUDED!
#1 way of holding yourself back, “I’m just not good enough.”
My limiting belief is that whatever I’m doing, it’s never good enough and that I AM never enough. And when you get stuck in this line of thinking, you always seem to fall short, miss the mark, fail to meet expectations. The focus will always be on needing more: to learn more, do more, work more, achieve more.
Pfff… thinking like that is so tiring, and there is no way you can ever expect to meet these expectations of yourself. It’s not realistic, not logical, I wouldn’t expect this of anybody else.
Repeat or evolve, it’s your choice.
I’ve been working on evolving this habit that holds me back. I just don’t want to repeat this assholery to myself. But every now and again when I’m engaging in new adventures and experiences it pops back up.
If you’re not good enough anyway, WHY bother?!
This belief mostly manifests itself in not taking action, because if you don’t feel good enough anyway – why should you bother.
For these past two months, you haven’t seen much of me on the blog or social media. I need to take a step back so I could take care of myself. My energy levels haven’t been great, and I’ve been dealing with a flare-up of intestinal issues, and it has been emotionally and physically draining. There didn’t seem to be much time for anything else.
And I’m really proud that I did. It’s not an easy choice when you’re in the middle of all these wonderful plans, and you feel frustrated with your lack of progress.
BUT… what is the real reason you’re holding yourself back?
But as I’m working through my limiting beliefs and asking myself what they cost me and how they are holding me back, I also have to be honest with myself.
My health isn’t the only reason you haven’t seen me for a while. Another important reason I’ve been holding myself back from posting is, this thought that it doesn’t matter anyway what I put out there – my posts – because they just aren’t good enough, average, too egocentric, too much me, me, me, irrelevant, not helping anyone – just static in the air. (There’s the
Basic bullsh*t, coming from limiting beliefs that have turned into a habit of debilitating self-criticism.
In September and October, I wrote my ass off I felt so inspired. But when push came to shove, and I was ready to publish, I held myself back and told myself that it just wasn’t good enough to put out into the world.
“Nobody’s reading my stuff anyway, so why bother.”
The thing is, my job is to publish, not to judge or to dictate what it should or
Where do these limiting beliefs come from?
Very simply put, your negative beliefs come from your past, mostly your childhood. They are the things that other people have said and the mechanisms you developed to protect yourself when you weren’t strong enough and adult enough to really set your boundaries.
Default protection mode
For example, when your parents were short with you, you weren’t yet able to think: “Well, I guess they are stressed out because of work, this has nothing to do with me.” Instead, you developed survival mechanisms to cope with the stress. For example, always being the nice one or the quiet one.
These behaviours helped you so they became part of your default protection mode – you don’t even think about it anymore. Even though the limiting belief doesn’t serve you anymore in the present, since you are a capable adult now, you perpetuate the behaviour because it’s become encoded in your neural programming.
It’s as automatic as brushing your teeth in the morning.
But as you become an adult who is able to set her own boundaries, this default mode and coupled limiting beliefs about yourself and the world become unhelpful and untrue (you are no longer 5 years old, so why do you keep holding on to her world view) and then the choice becomes repeat or evolve.
Stop believing that you’re not really qualified to… for example, write because you’ve never had a writing class in your life, so whatever you create has to be garbage. Give yourself the opportunity to explore, fail and grow.
What if it’s not serving you anymore?
Realise that when you think like that, you are depriving someone of the opportunity to receive your message – a message they need to hear that they might not get somewhere else. And that’s just mean. You can’t do that.
The cost of these negative thoughts is your health, your mind, your success, your body, and your DREAMS. The cost is not just to yourself but to the world because you are depriving people of your insight, your genius, your world view, and your contribution.
If you are committed to change your life for the better, it’s essential to uncover how you are standing in your own way.
How are you holding yourself back?!
1. Get clear on your limiting beliefs, ask yourself:
- What are my limiting beliefs?
- Where do they come from?
- Whenever you try to do something new, what thoughts come up that hold you back?
2. Get clear on the price you’ve been paying and ask:
- How have these thoughts been costing me in the past?
- How are they costing me in the present?
- And, how will they cost me in the future?
Really, what will it cost you, when you continue to hold yourself back by believing this bullsh*t about yourself?
I promise you if you tell yourself you’re not good enough, you’ll only see the evidence that will prove this to be true. But if you believe you ARE good enough, you can start to step into the person you need to be to finally make your dreams come true.
Let’s do it together.
My first action, now that I’m clear that “Oops I did it again” is to put this post online as soon as I finish writing this sentence.
P.s. want to join me in doing a mindset reset? Are you ready to tackle those limiting beliefs? Subscribe to the Adventure Awaits Insider and receive somewhat weekly encouragement to kick-start the hero’s journey that’ll change your life and that of others. See you there!
p.s.2 I love my “Oops I did it again” look. It’s VERY J-Lo meets Britney with those earrings. 😉 Don’t you think?