I’m doing a mindset reset at the moment. I’m looking back at 2018, identifying the lessons, feeling a lot of gratefulness, and getting ready to continue into 2019 with the clear intention of bringing some change into my life. Part of the process is setting myself up for greatness – a.k.a getting out of my own damn way! – and as I’m moving through my limiting beliefs, it hits me: I’ve been holding myself back. It’s really an “Oops. I did it again moment” for me – tacky red latex bodysuit INCLUDED!
“I’m just not good enough.”
My limiting belief is that whatever I’m doing, it’s never good enough and that I AM never enough. I always fall short, miss the mark, fail to meet expectations (it’s not exactly clear to me whose I’m failing to meet). I’ll always need to learn more, do more, work more, achieve more.
Pfff… thinking like that is so tiring, and there is no way I can ever expect to meet these expectations of myself. It’s not realistic, not logical, I wouldn’t expect this of anybody else.
Repeat or evolve, it’s your choice.
I’ve been working on evolving this habit of thinking badly about myself for a while. I just don’t want to repeat this assholery to myself. But every now and again when I’m engaging in new adventures and experiences it pops back up.
If I’m not good enough anyway, WHY bother?!
This belief mostly manifests itself in not taking action, because if I’m not good enough anyway – why should I bother.
What’s funny is that I thought I had become a pretty self-aware person these last couple of years, but “Whoops I did it again.”
For these past two months, you haven’t seen much of me on the blog or social media. I’ve told myself that this has been because of personal health issues.
My energy levels haven’t been great, and I’ve been dealing with a flare-up of intestinal issues for which I again had to make some changes in my life, taking up time, a lot of energy, and it has been emotionally and physically draining. There didn’t seem to be much time for anything else.
It’s the truth, a legitimate “excuse” and I’m definitely not apologising. It’s my life, and I need to take care of myself as I see fit – even if this means taking a step back and I’m also proud that I did. It’s not an easy choice when you’re in the middle of all these wonderful plans, and you feel frustrated with your lack of progress.
BUT… what is the real reason you hold yourself back?
But as I’m working through my limiting beliefs and asking myself what they cost me and how they are holding me back, I have to be honest with myself.
My health isn’t the only reason you haven’t seen me for a while. Another important reason I’ve been disconnected has been this thought that it doesn’t matter anyway what I put out there – my posts – because they just aren’t good enough, average, too egocentric, too much me, me, me, irrelevant, not helping anyone – just static in the air. (There’s the
Basic bullsh*t, coming from limiting beliefs that have turned into a habit of debilitating self-criticism.
In September and October, I wrote my ass off I felt so inspired. But when push came to shove, and I was ready to publish, I told myself that it just wasn’t good enough to put out into the world.
“Nobody’s reading my stuff anyway, so why bother.”
I apologise for that because it means I’ve been putting words into your mouth. My job is to publish, not to judge or to dictate what it should or
Where do these limiting beliefs come from?
Very simply put, your negative beliefs come from your past. It’s a way of thinking you developed to protect yourself during childhood when you weren’t strong enough and adult enough to really set your boundaries.
Default protection mode
When your parents started yelling at you because of a minor infraction, you couldn’t think: “Well, I guess dad is stressed out because of work, this has nothing to do with me.” Instead, thoughts like “I should be extra nice and extra quiet so that Mommy or Daddy won’t be mad,” prevailed. Over time, these thoughts turned into habits of not speaking up because you don’t have anything of importance to add because you don’t matter.
They’ve become a default mode – you don’t even think about it anymore.
It’s as automatic as brushing your teeth in the morning.
That’s how I failed to recognise that my unwillingness to appear online had nothing to do with the actual quality of my work or my health but the limiting belief that whatever I write isn’t good enough.
The limiting belief that I’m not really qualified to write because I’ve never had a writing class in my life, I never studied communications or whatever so what I put out is garbage or maybe just passing mediocre.
The limiting belief that you don’t need to hear what I’m telling you. “Oh, I’m just repeating what everyone else is saying, so I don’t need to publish this, people can read it somewhere else, somewhere better.”
Realise that when you think like that, you are depriving someone of the opportunity to receive your message – a message they need to hear that they might not get somewhere else. And that’s just mean. You can’t do that.
What if it’s not serving you anymore?
Even though the limiting belief doesn’t serve you anymore in the present, since you are a capable adult now, you perpetuate the behaviour because it’s become encoded in your neural programming.
What if you pay the price?
But the price is steep. The cost of these negative thoughts is your health, your mind, your success, your body, your DREAMS. The cost is not just to yourself but to the world because you are depriving people of your insight, your genius, your world view, your contribution.
If you are committed to change your life for the better, it’s essential to uncover how you are standing in your own way.
How are you holding yourself back?!
1. Get clear on your limiting beliefs, ask yourself:
- What are my limiting beliefs?
- Whenever you try to do something new, what thoughts come up that hold you back?
2. Get clear on the price you’ve been paying and ask:
- How have these thoughts been costing me in the past,
- How are they costing me in the present,
- and, How will they cost me in the future?
Really, what will it cost you, when you continue believing this bullsh*t about yourself?
I promise you if you tell yourself you’re not good enough, you’ll only see the evidence that will prove this to be true. But if you believe you’re good enough, you can start to step into the person you need to be to finally make your dreams come true.
Let’s do it together.
My first action, now that I’m clear that “Oops I did it again” is to put this post online as soon as I finish writing this sentence.
P.s. want to join me in doing a mindset reset? Are you ready to tackle those limiting beliefs? Subscribe to the Adventure Awaits Insider and receive weekly encouragement to kick-start the hero’s journey that’ll change your life and that of others. See you there!
p.s.2 I love my “Oops I did it again” look. It’s VERY J-Lo meets Britney with those earrings. 😉 Don’t you think?