Saying “no.” “Drawing the line.” “Putting your heels into the sand.” “Having boundaries.” “Standing up for yourself.” These are words that should get more repetition in your vocabulary, like Destiny’s Child’s: “No, No, No, NO!”
[ BOUNDARIES ]
It’s difficult to say no to people, especially when your no’s are met with theirs.
YOU: “No, I don’t have the time now. I have another priority.”
OTHER: “That’s not acceptable. There is no one else to do it.”
*Gulp* The sweat starts pouring down your body. “Sh*t, I said NO, didn’t I?”
“Didn’t I?”
YOU: [start shrinking into yourself, compromising] “Well… if it has to be done… I can wait to do that thing that was a priority for me, as it doesn’t seem to be one for yours.”
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand… you just lost a little bit of your self-respect.
COMPROMISING on your boundaries, priorities, your SELF-R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Setting boundaries always felt like an act of war to me. I didn’t want any conflict. Better to preserve the peace. Not make waves. Saying no just doesn’t seem to be done if you’re a nice person willing to help others.
But doesn’t being nice include to YOURSELF?
Setting boundaries isn’t only essential to your survival as a person (burn out just doesn’t sound that appealing), it’s unavoidable if you want to be an entrepreneur, or, basically, an adult, for that matter, and absolutely necessary for clear and open communication.
Be a BAWSE.
As scary as it is to say NO, you must. It’s non-negotiable if you want to hold the reigns in your own life and live YOUR best life – not someone else’s.
You can’t sit there on the couch, nodding, when people (incl. fam. and friends) uninvitingly offer you their advice about what you should and shouldn’t do, cramping up inside because what they suggest isn’t something that you want, but in your head, your ego goes…
but what do you know?!
Well…
You know that you need to start saying YES to saying NO, right now, this moment.
“NO.”
Even after you may already have said yes, but you really mean NO.
It’s NEVER too late to still say NO.
You are allowed to unapologetically take your space, even when someone else doesn’t agree with your choices.
Or else you won’t be seen.
You won’t be heard.
Your story will be scattered over the winds of other voices that ring out stronger and truer than yours.
Which is a shame because your voice is needed!
If not for those who need what you bring to the table, do it for YOU.
It sucks, but the truth is: No one will give you the space or the seal of approval.
I know.
I’ve been trying to be seen and heard for years. If there’s one thing that this experience has taught me is that you’ll have to:
- Be the one to decide that you are worthy.
- Take responsibility for your life.
- Love and respect yourself enough to set boundaries.
- Take yourself seriously (and at the same time, don’t take yourself so seriously!).
Which means that sometimes, YOU will have to say NO.
You’ll have to take the opportunity.
No one will do it FOR YOU.
Don’t be sorry about being yourself and taking your rightful space in the world.
You cannot take up that space when you’re sorry for everything. Apologizing for being your authentic self. When you don’t demand that your boundaries are respected.
Once you start doing this, you can do ANYTHING.
Are you ready to start saying YES which includes saying NO to the busy work and saying YES to boundaries?
Participate in the “10 days to Adventure Challenge” and go from naysayer to going for your dreams one small step at a time!
We started December 9th but you can still jou us!
All you need to do is take the first step and sign up!
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Live your own Year of Yes – where you say yes to everything that scares you, including saying NO to the things that don’t light you up.
Are you with me?
Let me know on social media with #yoyes #10daysofadventure @theecotourist