“I’ve always resonated with the saying about “setting your soul on fire” about being in a place of constant excitement and adventure. I resonate with these words because I’m afraid of the mundane. If I stop feeling the fire, does that mean that I am dead?”
Untitled by Danielle Whims in Dig Deep: A Literary Magazine 2018/2019
I recognise a lot of myself in this quote. I’m a fire sign, Aries, very much attracted to words like passion, action, and ambition. In the past, if I reached one goal, I was already planning to climb even higher, looking for the next big thing. I couldn’t really love the process, I was so focused on all the outcomes.
Pushy energy
It’s the feeling of wanting more, so much more that it’s never enough. The days where you aren’t doing anything significant and adventurous seem unproductive, dull and insignificant. If, for a moment, I don’t feel fiery or bold, but tired, I panic. I can’t stand still like this! HELP! Like it’s supposed to be different – more excitement all the time.
Choices that would bring more calm and nurture the soul and the body become scary. What if I take a break, will I come to a permanent stop? If I accept that I want some mundaneness in my life, does it mean I’m giving up on my dreams? Will I become some boring person who always plays it small? Some sort of a hermit? (In other words, when it comes to “what if” scenarios, my inner meany can go on a ridonculous mind-rampage).
I spent my University years and the first years of my career striving, looking for that feeling of accomplishment. But it was never enough. After the thrill of adventure, I would fall into a rut. What now?
While I believe in reaching for your full potential and not living small, I don’t want a life that consists of only the highlights. The thing is, you’ll spend most of your life in the in-between so you’d better learn to love the process.
Enjoy the calm
Instead of a life full of constant excitement and adventure, where I’m so busy I can’t even breathe, I want to embrace life in all its fullness – INCLUDING the stillness. Because that’s also part of navigating the process because that part of life isn’t always go-go-go.
Maybe it’s okay to admit that, sometimes, I don’t always want big adventures. Sometimes I want to read about someone else’s experiences or worlds in my book on my couch with some hot tea. Does that mean I’m not living up to my full potential those days? Or is it a sign of growth that I can hear what my body and soul need and provide this for them?
Accept the process, maybe even learn to love it!
Life’s about balance and going with the flow. I love how Danielle Whim likens it to “setting your soul to the ocean”. In the ocean, you ebb and flow, get to experience the excitement in the waves. You’re tossed about equally between joy and fear. Here you can experience it all. The calm. The thrill. The beauty. That’s what navigating the process should feel like.
I want a life where there is a sense of peace after the storm. A life where I don’t always hunger for more. I want to be able to enjoy the moments of the calm in between and feel grateful for the adventures that find me.
For now, I wish all the enjoyment on your adventures AND love for whatever comes in-between.
Love,
Susanna